


I was walking asleep

by mistress_shiny



Category: DTM RPF, Formula 1 RPF, Formula E RPF, Formula Renault 3.5 RPF, Motorsport RPF, World Series by Renault RPF
Genre: Antonio is an idiot miserable dumpling, Clueless boys are clueless, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-12
Updated: 2014-07-12
Packaged: 2018-02-08 13:02:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1942149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mistress_shiny/pseuds/mistress_shiny
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s been 8 months since Antonio Felix da Costa missed out on the Torro Rosso seat. Antonio Felix da Costa is an idiot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I was walking asleep

It isn’t the first time they’ve seen each other since, it isn’t even the fourth fifth or sixth times. But it’s the first time they’re alone without the noise of a race or the bustle of PR to come between them.  
Carlos doesn’t want to be the one to break the silence, it’s not his turn to speak, it’s not him who pushed everyone away.  
Antonio looks like a miserable dumpling in his puffy Red-Bull jacket, and the thought makes a smile tug at the corner of Carlos’s mouth. Carlos knows Antonio hates the cold and Silverstone is cold even if it is the middle of summer.

He watches the emotions flicker over Antonio’s face when he looks at him, the answering smile quickly cut off by a scowl and then resignation. The portuguese man lets out a sigh and Carlos thinks he’s just going to leave but he stops with his back turned and Carlos can barely hear him when he speaks at last.  
“I’m sorry.”

Whatever Carlos expected it wasn’t this, the Antonio he knew didn’t apologise, he blustered and bravado’d his way through life. Bending the world through force of will, a quick word and a smile. Well he had, until he’d lost out on the Torro Rosso drive, and then, well..  
Then he’d lashed out at anyone who’d tried to offer him a word of comfort. Last year they were best friends, now they were almost strangers.

He realises that Antonio is probably waiting for a reply but he can’t find the words. He is still angry but it’s breaking his heart to see the other man like this. He crosses the room before he can even think about it and drags Antonio into a bear hug.

Antonio folds into him, burying his face in Carlos’s shoulder and gripping him tight. It takes him a moment to realise Antonio is still speaking.  
“I lost the drive because I couldn’t get my head straight. It was stupid you know, pushing you away, it only made it worse, I thought if you weren’t around I’d be able to focus. Show them what I could do, even if it was in DTM.”

Carlos stiffens and steps backwards out of the hug.  
“What?” his voice is sharp, Antonio was blaming him for losing the Torro Rosso seat?  
“Jesus, I’m fucking this up.” Antonio scrubs a hand over his face.  
“Yeah, you are. I understand Dany, but what do I have to do with it. Damn it Antonio, you were my best friend, I wanted you to get the seat.”  
“I didn’t want to lose you and I knew I would.”

Carlos couldn’t believe what he was hearing, did Antonio really think he was so fickle a friend?  
“Ant, you are making no sense, I wasn’t going to stop being your friend because you got the drive.”  
“You would have, if I told you.” The resignation was back in Antonio’s face.  
“Told me what? You haven’t spoken more than five words to me in eight months, so say it, it can’t make things worse between us”  
“It can.” Antonio’s voice is thick with emotion and Carlos’s hand twitches as he checks the impulse to reach for his friend.  
“Ant.” It’s more a plea than a form of address and the older man lets out a shaky breath.  
“God Carlos, I’m meant to be the mature one, that’s part of the problem, you’re young, I shouldn’t want this, I shouldn’t want you.”

Carlos feels his world tilt.  
“What?”  
“I want you, no that makes it sound wrong, it’s not just that. Fuck. I care about you, a lot, more than I should.”

“Dio” Carlos doesn’t know if he means it as a curse or a prayer. Antonio obviously hears it as the former.  
“Fuck, I’m sorry, just forget I said anything, I’ll go.”  
“Dio, shut up, Ant, you don’t say anything for months and then you say this. You are an idiot.”  
Carlos crosses the room and grabs Antonio by the front of his jacket and for a second he doesn’t know whether to punch him or kiss him first. He is pretty sure he’ll have plenty more opportunities to punch Antonio but this may be his only chance to kiss him.  
So he does. Dragging him close and tilting his head for a better angle before capturing the other man’s lips with his own. For a second he thinks Antonio is not going to kiss him back but then a gasp slips from him, like a drowning man coming up for air and Antonio’s hands are in his hair and Carlos nips at Ant’s bottom lip.  
“You are an idiot.” He repeats and kisses him again to soften the words and feels Antonio smile against his lips.

“I missed you.” Carlos says, because he can.  
“Don’t run away again.” He says, because he has too.  
Antonio’s answer is given without words, because, finally, they don’t need them.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you T. you are the best beta!
> 
> Title from “Talk too much by Andy Bull” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8qIQLQEvsrg&feature=kp


End file.
